Only now, at the age of 31, am I taking the first steps to change my life into what I really want it to be. I believe that the first thing that is imperative is to evaluate our lives in an objective way, without letting ourselves be carried away by our emotions, and recognize that although many things that happened were beyond our control, most of the time it was not the others’ fault. It was our fault! We design our lives! And that is why I realized that self-love and self-confidence are imperative if we want to be truly happy.
Facing the truth…
Today I will get a little personal so bare with me. This is what I have learned of all the years I felt disappointed with others or sad about not getting the life I thought I deserved. We are responsible for the decisions we have made. It is our fault if we accepted certain behaviors towards us or certain situations that we shouldn’t have. We have ourselves to blame if we tried to mold our personalities, our lives and our ways to please others. The truth is that we should have always been true to ourselves. When we realize this we are prepared to put all those bad things that happened to us in a box called “Past” and we will be ready to build the future we imagined all our lives.
If we want our lives to change we can not give in to pessimistic thoughts like “we have bad luck“, “things don’t ever come easy for us”, “it is too hard”, “it is not worth it”, “we can’t make it”, “we can’t do it”, “this will not work”, “we are not beautiful enough, strong enough” and “no one will love us”. I have done that for a long time. No! Enough! Blank page! Clean slate! Start over! A new beginning! Leave that crap behind! Smell the roses! We need to change the way we see ourselves and the world around us. That is the key!
Our destiny is in our hands! It doesn’t matter if our goal is far away. It does not matter if it seems difficult to attain. What matters is that if we do not take the first step, it will be impossible to achieve. And the first step is for us to give!
Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Hell yeah!
The importance of loving yourself
This was difficult for me to understand, and I still struggle with this at times since I had always had low self-esteem growing up, but it’s not the fact that we’re cute, tall, small, thin, curvy, fashionable, rich that defines whether others will like us or not. And now you are thinking “yeah right!…” But this is really true. Just like a book, the cover can be spectacular and we can even buy the book because the cover is interesting, but once we start reading it if the subject is not captivating we will put it on a shelf and we’ll never look at it again. It becomes the decorative piece that whoever designed its spectacular cover meant it to be. And we do not want to be just a decorative piece. Right?
We want to be that book someone reads and re-reads over and over again and keeps on the bedside table.
So the choices in our life must not come from the necessity to please others or because we think someone will love us if we are a certain way! Get this straight in your head! We shouldn’t do anything with the purpose of being loved. No! That thought is bullshit! Leave that destructive thought behind right now!
Whatever it is that you want to be, do or experience should be because you want to feel better about yourself. You want to feel comfortable in your own skin. You want to be more confident. You want to be healthier. You want to commit to something good. You should dedicate to building your self-esteem so that your happiness does not depend on someone else’s opinion. You want to be the best you can be and that includes being happy with how you look outside and what you feel about you on the inside. That is the importance of loving ourselves unconditionally. And that should be our main goal. Repeat after me:
Your happiness shouldn’t depend on the opinion others have of you. Your happiness should depend on your opinion of yourself.
Are you satisfied with who you are inside and out? If not, that’s what you have to work on! We want to become more positive, confident, happier people. And that includes taking better care of ourselves, mentally and physically. Your body is your temple! Take care of yourself. Eat healthier. Do Yoga. Travel. Smile. Smile a lot! Be calmer. Don’t stress out about the world around you. Build a better world inside you and the world around you will change. Be true to yourself. Is the only way to attract people who are in the same wave as you. People more like you. Who love the same things you do. With whom you are comfortable being you. Is the only way to find your tribe!
Being thinner, taller, fitter, popular, etc. will not bring you love. Loving yourself will bring you love and will open space for others to love you as well! Remember that the next time you look in a mirror.
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